It was getting
dark when I heard a scream coming from next door.
It was little Alice,
her dress was stuck in the rose bush.
Everyone voted me to
go. "Why did I have to go?"
It was as dark as a
bears cave, the rusty gate creaked as I walked slowly to the path. It was like
a narrow arrow on the ground.
I sneaked around to
find where Alice was.
It was hard to keep
quiet with the stones moving underfoot. Then suddenly I walked straight into something, I
looked up and saw a man staring at me…
Hi Jessie,
ReplyDeleteYou have used some great description here! I am scared just reading it.
I love how you used speech to get across emotions your character was feeling and that you used that speech as a rhetorical question. I like that you describe it as, as dark as a bears cave - adds to the frightening part of your story.
And what an ending! Who is this man? Is he good or evil? I want to read your whole story - well done.
Rachel Wills (team 100wc)