Tripping, slipping and sliding didn't give me a distant
advantage between me and the green slump of mouldy toxic moss. I could not
believe the smell that protruded from the mutations frightening crevices. In fact
it was so horrific, the smell had its own visible vapour! I came across this
wretched monstrosity shortly after a confusing trip to the toilet. Why was it
confusing? Well I am camping, and the park ranger is probably in hysterics,
because the TOILET is 500 metres away! I'm nearing the camp site barrier as the
slump halted suddenly. I guess it doesn't like camp fires!
I really like the way that you hook the reader.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing I like are some of the words you have used like hysteric's.
Also i think that you have done some really good punctuation.
1) I like the use of description words.
ReplyDelete2) I like the way you used the prompt
3) I think you could work on making it easier to follow